Me and God

Let me start by saying that I think faith is a completely beautiful and independent thing.  I am not here to hark on you or the God you believe in; but if you were to ask me if I believed my God would heal me, I would say no. 

Let's get this straight; I am not religious: I have a relationship with God.

I believe in God.

I love God, but I will not confine that love to a list of rules and regulations. 

I believe He is all powerful and can do awe inspiring things.  He can heal but I don't believe He will heal me.  

Why would He when I can do so much more to honor Him with my disease than I could without? People ask me how can I believe in a God who creates so much sickness and death.  Easy. My spirit is eternal. Your spirit is eternal. Even if you don't believe in life after death, you can't deny the fact that some part of you will live on in some part of someone you touched when you are gone. Once you are here and have touched the earth and the souls of the earth, you cannot be erased. 

That's all I want to do here; change someone's perspective, maybe even change their life. I believe I can do that with my words and my actions and I believe this health struggle will help me to achieve that goal. 

Yes, I thank God for my life and I even thank Him for my hardships, but I do not thank Him for where I am now. I put myself here, He paved the way and laid out the options, but I made the choices that brought me right where I am. I made the choice to do everything I can to better myself physically and mentally.