My Mental Health

I am always hearing people say "how do you keep it together?" and  "how are you so strong through all of this?"

Let me let you in on a little secret...I'm not.

I have breakdowns where I just lay in bed and cry about my situation.  I cry about lost friends.  I cry about the rumors.  I cry about the pain and the medications and the tests and the doctors. I cry about not being able to hold down a job. I cry about not being able to go to school, but mostly I cry because I let all these things get to me and that makes me feel weak.

Here's what I have learned.  You can't change your situation, but you can make the best of it.  The people that left you at your darkest hours are not worth your tears.  Pain, medications, tests, and doctors are my life now and I have to accept that.  There will always be an opportunity somewhere, somehow, to make a little money.  I will graduate from college, no matter how many extra steps I have to take.

Most importantly I've learned that the person who doesn't cry is not the strongest. The strongest person is the one who lets things hit them emotionally, then gets back up refreshed and ready to move on.  Its okay to be sad for a little while. Its not okay to be sad forever.