Say What...?

I know there have several posts about what not to say to those who are chronically ill.  While I agree with most of those, I have a few more that I hear ALL the time that really get under my skin.

I apologize in advance because this is a bit smart-assy.

You’re too young to be sick:

No. I’m not. This is just ignorant. Babies get sick, children get sick, and I got sick.  You are never too young to be sick. I have heard this so many times and I’m about ready to scream.

It could be worse:

Yes, you’re right, it could be worse, but it also could be a lot better. Telling me that there are starving kids in Africa helps no one. It doesn’t diminish my pain, and it doesn’t feed them.  All suffering is relative.  What hurts one, may kill another so there is no hard and fast rule about what is bad and what is worse. Yes, it could be worse, but it’s bad enough and I’m allowed to be sad about that every now and then.

Have you tried…:

Yes. I have.  Have you tried closing your mouth? As a spoonie, I am more than aware of the new medications and trials out there. I research them religiously. While your advice is appreciated, it’s not wanted. 

I know you’ll be better soon:

Do you know what chronic means? Seriously? I know people like to have hope and remain optimistic, so do I; but I am also realistic and it is actually insulting when you look me in the eye and say “you’ll be better soon,” Chances are, I won’t.

I think I might have that! / Oh, that happens to me!:

I’m sure you do get stomachaches and have acid reflux now and then. I’m truly sorry that anyone has to experience any type of pain. I’m sure you do get a little dizzy upon standing up and I know that can be scary, but you should see a doctor before you compare your fight to mine. You have no idea what I go through; just like I have no idea what you go through so don’t assume you can diagnose yourself based on the limited knowledge you have of my symptoms.

This is not directed at anyone in particular and it is not meant to offend anyone. I know people mean well but words, even well intentioned ones, can have repercussions and they can be hurtful and insulting. Please, just think before you speak.